1. I kissed a girl sober and I liked it!
Beautiful weekday evening at Sober Blogger's favourite haunt,' bloody skinny bitch' (cranberry juice, soda, fresh lime and no vodka) in hand. The Lover is brushing his teeth at home but on his way.
There's nowhere on the terrace, so I sit down and share a table with what appears to me like an extremely lovely couple (yup, I totally judged them, but nicely!); you know, the rare 'what you see is what you get kind of people; friendly and warm with a discrete but intriguing point of view on 'things'.
We sip contentedly for a while in comfortable silence, a rarity these days.
Suddenly, like a scene from the wizard of Oz, a wind picks up, and the peaceful vibe shifts uncomfortably. She strides in all attitudes; cold and dominant, I assume she's here after a long day's work.
"Why HELLOOOOO" she chucks at us, and we huddle like three chickens hoping she will go away as hope we are now invisible. Sadly, we're not, and she homes in on us, a sly smile on her shiny pink lipgloss lathered lips.
"I am going to kiss you," she says to the 'extremely lovely' male chicken, and SB observes that his 'extremely lovely' chicken mate looks panic-stricken and suddenly feels protective!
So, seeing as SB is utterly sober and her brain is working like a smooth operator, SB makes an executive decision to save this 'extremely lovely' couple's evening by deciding to sacrifice herself. Besides, The Lover seems to be STILL brushing his teeth, so why not!
So SB booms...
"NO, KISS ME INSTEAD" ( it can't be that bad)
"OK," she purrs", cause I'm going to kiss you like no one ever has before, and I guarantee your knees will give way."
SB, at this point, fast forwards and sees Cruellas tongue thrust down her throat but still stands strong…
"Go on then", SB challenges.
Cruella purses her pink lips and heads for SB's, her breath laden with the smell of Guinness, and in that split instant, SB knows she has this awkward but funny situation covered as SB is the sober one, and it feels so frickin empowering!
Three times she kissed SB's lips; each one was more tender than the one before; there was no tongue and no provocation; it appeared that this woman was no Cruella but just a woman who missed the intimacy of kissing and being kissed; it was as simple as that…..
She pulled back slowly and reluctantly and said, ' Ahhhh, I REALLY needed that; I've just had a tough day at work, and I was feeling lonely, so thank you, lady!'
Do you kiss enough to satisfy your need for that intimate connection, or do you crave it but have to be drunk to feel brave enough to ask for it?
SB x
